Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
