I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
