drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
You took a bar mat shot.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
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