There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Dignity is for republicans.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
