I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
