spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
