He is such a slut. More and more my type.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize