i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Randomize
