the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Randomize
