Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize