I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
