I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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