So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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