jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
