I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
