UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
