i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
