i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize