he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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