Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
