well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
