I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize