Those balls look pretty dangerous.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
