can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
