question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
