I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
