Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
