Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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