Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
