Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
