i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Is Oprah even human
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
