Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
