you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I need to sanitize my soul.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
