He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
