I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize