four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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