you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
