seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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