corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
