This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
she told me i tasted like america
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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