The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
