idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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