Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
where are you?
Hypothermia
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
