We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
