Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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