I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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