i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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