jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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