Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
If I die, sorry about rent.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize