All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
