I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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