i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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