So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
