How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize