idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
