Whod you bang
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
