There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
