Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
