I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
