well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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