we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Mom said you looked used
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
