we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
God gave him joint rollers for hands
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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