you would pick up someone in the library
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
