apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
