I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize