M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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