the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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