Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
