Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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