I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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