He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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