found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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