the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
