Im at strip club and am horny
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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