Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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