I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
