Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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