I puked a lego.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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