i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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