I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
